


The Sublime

by Metallic_Sweet



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Literary References & Allusions, Love Confessions, Moral Ambiguity, Non-binary character, Other, Philosophy, Tokyo Ghoul Rare Pair Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 04:52:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4126075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metallic_Sweet/pseuds/Metallic_Sweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He is the living embodiment of beauty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sublime

**1\. The Noble**

There's a saying: the reputation of a man for a thousand years is decided in his actions in an hour.

Kanae thinks a lot about this saying. There are a lot of sayings that Kanae was brought up to think about. Before becoming von Rosewald, Kanae was a Roswald. The Roswald family were philosophers and were brought up to think about sayings from Schiller, Goethe, and Kant. Curiously, there was no Nietzsche in that education, but perhaps Kanae had not yet been old enough to handle such a fundamentally alarming philosophy as nihilism. Kanae can never be sure. There is little regret over the lack of Nietzsche in those early years of education. The name Roswald died when Kanae was eight, followed by a lost year where Kanae had no name. If Nietzsche had had an influence during that lost year, Kanae might have lost more than just the Roswald name.

Even after Kanae joined the Tsukiyama family and became von Rosewald, there was a lot of philosophy to learn. The Tsukiyama family aren't philosophers by trade. They're rather more practical, which Kanae has come to greatly appreciate. If the Roswald family had been more practical, perhaps they wouldn't be so sorely dead. Rather, the Tsukiyama family focused primarily on business, moderated by individual personal philosophies. Business needs physical and mental strength as well as personal connections, and each member of the family and their employees is expected to train the body and the mind. Each has their own specialities, and these are honed to perfection. Kanae appreciates this perfect practicality. It cultivates individual works of art.

The most sublime of the Tsukiyama family is Tsukiyama Shuu. This, Kanae does not think that anyone can deny. After all, there is a reason that it is Shuu that the entire family addresses as Tsukiyama. He has long outstripped his father in strength, and he is the most proficient mind and hunter. Full of action and receptive to learning, Tsukiyama is handsome, intelligent, intense, and sensual. He is the living embodiment of beauty.

Kanae adores him.

 

**2\. The Splendid**

There is a saying: live with your century but do not be its creature.

The century that Kanae was born into is a cruel one. Of course, it is easy to say that all centuries are cruel. Kanae is a ghoul, and it can also be said that, for ghouls, their very existence is a cruelty. A cosmic joke for their prey is more plentiful and just as if not more intelligent. Ghouls are predators doomed to be hunted. So to say that this century is cruel is stating the obvious.

But there is use to stating the obvious. For example, Kanae is an employee of the Tsukiyama family. This is obvious. At the same time, stating this reveals that Kanae is not Tsukiyama blood, since Kanae's name is von Rosewald. It also reveals that Kanae is not a slave. An employee receives certain benefits. Kanae has a modest allowance, receives free room and board, and has completed a somewhat specialised but extraordinarily useful education. As an employee, there also has a choice to leave, if that is the wish. Kanae has chosen to stay.

"Kanae."

They are on the south terrace. The spring evening is cool but not yet cold. The sun has long set, and the living room floor lamp has been moved out onto it to provide adequate light. Tsukiyama has his hair pinned away as he works over a drafting board, drawing up plans for a gazebo that will be installed in the western garden come summer. He looks up from his work, meeting Kanae's gaze.

"You've been staring all evening. What is it?"

Back in the manor, deep inside, there are faint strains of music off a gramophone. Mirumo is an enthusiast and makes a tidy profit from restoring old gramophones and record players. It is a recording of Schubert. Waltz in b minor.

"When are you next coming home?"

Tsukiyama tilts his head slightly. Thinking. He's been spending more time than usual away from the family estate. There is a lot of business he has to take care of in Tokyo, which Kanae understands. There's also some sort of personal business that Tsukiyama is involved with that takes up even more of his time. Tsukiyama doesn't explain it, which is unusual. It bothers Kanae. It makes Kanae nervous.

"Ah, well, it depends," Tsukiyama murmurs before he smiles, reaching out to ruffle Kanae's hair. "Why? Do you miss me?"

His hand is cold. It shouldn't be cold. Kanae isn't cold, and Tsukiyama is usually so much warmer. Tsukiyama pauses, hand still raised. Kanae knows the lack of response seems strange. Tsukiyama always receives a response.

"Kanae?"

There are so many things that Kanae would like to say. Would like to do. Would like to be. Instead, Kanae smiles. Tsukiyama smiles back. Accepting. Amused. He is so very beautiful.

"Don't be so shy," Tsukiyama teases, shifting his hand to pat Kanae's cheek fondly. "You know you can tell me anything."

Kanae nods even as the throat seals up. As an employee of the Tsukiyama family, Kanae has chosen to stay. To be as close to Tsukiyama as possible. To adore such sublime beauty. But Kanae is an employee. Kanae is not blood. There is an evitable divide.

This is a cosmic joke.

 

**3\. The Terrifying**

There is a saying: only the descent into the hell of self-knowledge can pave the way to godliness.

Kanae thinks about this, kneeling by Tsukiyama's bed. He's asleep. It's a rare thing these days. His hair is in his face. Kanae wants to brush it away but will not risk waking him. Tsukiyama needs his sleep. His hair can wait.

Even so beaten, so downtrodden and sad, Tsukiyama is the most beautiful thing in the world. This Tsukiyama, although so different from the one Kanae adored, has the chance to become something godly. He doesn't need the scent that Chie brought, nor does he need the enchantment of a half-ghoul's blood. Freedom comes with time. A better balance between activity and passivity will be achieved. 

Kanae will be there for him. And perhaps then, with the hell of self-knowledge behind him, Tsukiyama will look down and see: 

Kanae inhales. Exhales. Heart in the throat, over the tongue, tumbling over lips from the mouth to say,

"I love you."

But, for now, Tsukiyama sleeps on.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Tokyo Ghoul Rare Pair Week on Tumblr, Day Six: "First 'I love you'."


End file.
